


The Price of Determination

by Zimothy



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Sad Ending, Zim is dying and Dib tries to help, some alien biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23398123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zimothy/pseuds/Zimothy
Summary: Dib reunites with Zim after not seeing him for five years and discovers that Zim is slowly dying due to the deterioration of his pak, directly caused by some of Dib's actions and because Earth is not a safe environment for him. Dib is determined to save Zim, while Zim has more or less accepted that he will soon expire. The two form a brief friendship and discover something about each other that they never expected.
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 79





	The Price of Determination

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! I'm actually the author of a IZ fic called "Post Mortem", which I posted anonymously on my main AO3. I decided I wanted to share more so I created this account! I hope you'll read more of what I write! (I promise, Zim won't die in all of them, I just like character introspection/exploring character dynamics in sad scenarios)

Dib hadn’t seen Zim in a good four to five years. 

Zim had followed him to hi-skool, comedically being the only person there who still looked like a small child. 

There was a period of time around senior year where Zim slowly stopped attending class. He’d be absent for weeks at a time, showing up for maybe one or two days, then disappearing for a few days more. 

Dib would check up on him occasionally to see if he was up to any evil, but Zim rarely did anything. It got to the point where Dib didn’t really have to worry about Earth’s safety, he could go on with his life…And that’s exactly what he did. 

He went off to college, got the degree his dad wanted him to get, and then went on to pursue paranormal investigation independently! With his inherited money he was able to revamp what little resources already existed for paranormal investigation and expand it. He became the leader and had his very own lab, it was exactly as he dreamed for himself. 

For a while he distracted himself with exploring haunted houses and cryptic forests, but after an extended period of time, the nagging thoughts and the back of his mind became more prominent. 

_“I should bring Zim in to my lab.”_

He was an adult now, 23 years old. He didn’t have to rely on the flimsy authority of NASA Place or the FBI, he could do whatever he wanted…

Assuming Zim was still around. 

Not once did Zim bother Dib when he was away to college. Dib always expected it, slept with one eye open just in case Zim tried to break in through the dorm window, but Zim never came. 

Was he even still on Earth? 

Did he finally give up and leave? Or was he just sitting around in his home like the last time Dib saw him? 

Now that he was standing outside Zim’s monstrous green house, tubing still shoved into the houses next to it, lawn gnomes still standing around menacingly. 

Clasped in his arms was his trusty briefcase that had everything he needed within it. Maybe there wouldn’t be much of a fight, but if there was one, he was more than prepared…And he was way taller than Zim at this point. 

Dib knocked on the door. It already pretty strange that Zim’s security system didn’t seem to be working, and not even the robot parents were coming out to greet him. 

He tried again, Gir was the one to answer the door. 

“Hi!” Gir waved ecstatically, he was the same as always, “You got my suck-monkey?” 

“What? You didn’t ask me to-“ Dib was caught off guard, “Gir, I haven’t seen you in years.” 

“Aw…” Gir looked disappointed for just a moment, before bouncing right back to his usual manic, “Welcome back!” 

“Where’s Zim?” Dib asked, he had to be here somewhere…There was no way he wouldn’t leave his robots behind on Earth. He may be an evil space monster, but he had a bizarre attachment to his robots. He placed his suitcase down by the couch.

“He’s sleepin’ downstairs.” Gir said, sitting back up on the couch and turning his attention back to the TV that he was probably watching previously. 

Gir’s answer felt wrong, “What do you mean he’s sleeping downstairs? Is he in his lab?” He prodded for more answers. 

“Yep! Been there for three days!” Gir held up two little fingers. 

“Doing what?” Dib question. 

“Sleeping.” Gir said nonchalantly. 

Dib was getting worried now, “For three days?” He asked. 

“Four days!” Gir chimed in. 

“ _Four days?!_ ” Dib repeated out of shock. 

“Five days!” Gir continued, thinking it was a game. 

Dib was already running towards the trashcan in Zim’s sorry excuse for a kitchen. It was far too small for him but he didn’t care. He squeezed his body through and took a very uncomfortable elevator ride down to the inner workings of Zim’s lab. 

It didn’t help that Gir didn’t specify where exactly in his lab Zim was, there were many different corridors and different rooms. Dib found himself running back and forth, checking every inch of the base, every room that could be considered a ‘lab’ of sorts. 

Finally, he saw Zim lying there from the glimpse of his eye and skidded to a quick stop, grabbing onto the opening frame and pulling himself into the room. An Irken ‘standby’ symbol flashed on the big screen ahead of him, light illuminating onto the floor where Zim lay. 

Holy shit, he was dead. 

Dib only got so close before he dropped to his knees. 

Why did this hurt so bad?

He threw a hand to his mouth to stifle a sob, stopping it before it could properly come out. 

He got the courage to lift his head and look at Zim properly. He was sprawled out in a way that made it look like he had fallen and just never got up. Dib inched just a little closer and all of a sudden a single pak leg sprung out and nearly jabbed at him. 

Dib backed up, watching as the leg skidded across the floor slowly, looking like a rusty piece of machinery that no longer worked well. The pak seemed delayed, moving back and forth across the space where Dib once was as if it was looking for him. 

Zim’s body began to move, just slightly. Dib only thought he was just seeing things, but then Zim slowly but surely began to sit up. 

Dib felt an odd sense of calm seeing that Zim was still living…Which was strange, given that he easily could have just taken Zim’s body to autopsy it. However, a live Zim was good and what he was hoping for. 

Dib stood and slowly walked over to Zim, arm extended to help him up as the little alien looked around blearily, his eyes squinted, his singular pak leg still hanging out. 

Zim looked up at him and in a small raspy voice, spoke to Dib, “My tallest?”

“What?” Dib questioned, kneeling down so that his face was closer to Zim’s eye level, “I’m Dib? Your greatest rival, remember me?”

Zim’s antennae twitched but he didn’t respond at all. Dib sighed and pulled Zim into a standing position himself since Zim wasn’t making any movement. Zim swayed as he stood but secured himself in Dib’s hold. 

“Dib?” He questioned like some senile old man. 

“Yeah, it’s me.” Dib assured him. For a moment, he completely forgot about what he previously wanted to do. Now he was curious as to what his old foe had been doing this whole time. 

“You’re tall.” Zim commented, “How did you do that?” 

“I grew up.” Dib answered, now standing up, “I see you haven’t gotten any taller.” 

Zim made a disgusted face at him and gave no response, then his gaze drifted to the screen behind him, locked on that Irken standby. 

“I was trying to call the Tallest…” Zim mused, his voice was distant, as if he were just talking to himself, “Haven’t heard from them in years.” 

“Gir said you’ve been down here for a few days.” Dib told him. 

Zim looked back at him with a look of confusion, his antennae shooting upwards and then lowering, flat against his head. 

He might have had no idea that even happened, now Dib was concerned…

Forgetting all about his previous plan, Dib set a new goal of getting Zim to tell him about how the past few years have been for him. 

“Let’s just get upstairs…Can you, uh, walk okay?” Dib asked, releasing his hold on Zim. The alien swerved just a bit on his feet but then walked forward with that same determination Dib remembered fondly from his childhood. 

“Actually, can we take a different way up? The elevator I took was kind of tight.” Dib asked, it had been a long time since he went down into Zim’s base, he forgot where the other entrances were. 

“Why didn’t you take the wider entrance under the couch?” Zim questioned. 

“I don’t know, I forgot, I was rushing to find you…” Dib said, he almost wanted to admit that he was scared Zim died. But he held his tongue, Zim was fine…Sort of. 

After one awkward ride up to the main floor, Zim turned to him and asked, “What are you here for?” 

Well, he couldn’t say he was here to capture Zim _now_. He felt far too uncomfortable to bring it up now. His original plan was to catch Zim off guard, now that Zim was here, stumbling around and looking under the weather…It just didn’t feel right anymore. The adrenaline had fully left his system…Maybe he would try again another time. Oh well. 

“Just visiting, I haven’t seen you in about 5 years.” Dib said, sitting down on the couch next to Gir, “You’ve been keeping out of trouble? Or have your plans just blown up in your face without me being around.” 

“Be quiet, Dib-beast. If you’re here just to see me…Well, you’ve seen me.” Zim sat on the couch next to him with a bit more of a struggle, once he was seated next to Dib he gestured to towards his face and tiny frame, as if instructing Dib to take in his appearance, “Begone now.” 

“…Are you feeling okay?” He sprung on the question that he had admittedly been thinking about for years, “After you dropped out senior year, you’ve been super reclusive. Did something happen?”

“Why do you care?” Zim accused him, but he didn’t sound angry, he sounded a lot more hurt. Did he feel left behind? 

Suddenly, Gir piped in, “Master’s all rusty!” 

“QUIET, GIR!” Zim yelled at his robot, his voice cracked and hoarse. Maybe after all these years and all the yelling, Zim’s pipes had finally given up on him…Or maybe Gir’s insane statement had some validity. 

“No, what is he talking about?” Dib asked. 

He extended his arms towards Zim but was smacked away by Zim’s gloved claws, “GET BACK!” Zim protested. 

“Stop being a jerk!” Dib persisted, he was far bigger than Zim now and could easily overpower him…Which is probably why Zim so fervently fought back. Dib held Zim down by his arms and turned Zim’s back towards him. 

Zim’s pak was dull and worn down, splotches of rust and maybe even mold littered the metal shell of Zim’s pak, small cracks and discoloring appeared within the pink disks. Zim’s most vital second brain, his life support that he couldn’t live without, was slowly deteriorating…And Zim wasn’t far behind it. 

Zim was always on the paler side, his green was always a few shades lighter than the other Irkens he got into contact with, but he had turned an entirely different shade from the last time Dib had seen him. He had prominent dark circles under his eyes and he felt a lot thinner than Dib remembered. 

Was he…

Zim escaped from Dib’s hold but seemed conflicted. This was his base and there was nowhere he could hide where Dib wouldn’t find him. He didn’t want Dib to look at his pak any longer, but he didn’t want to Face Dib either…So he chose to hide his face in the cushions of his couch, scrunching his body up as tiny as he could, hugging his knees and silently hoping Dib would just leave. 

But Dib wasn’t going to leave. 

“What happened to your pak?” 

“As if you care.” Zim’s retort was muffled through the cushions. 

“Is this…Is this some sort of ‘old age’ thing?” Dib asked. 

“I am not old! I am within my Irken prime!” Zim left hiding place to yell at his face, taking offense to Dib’s question. 

“Are you just not taking care of yourself?” Dib continued to question, then a terrible thought came to him, “…Was it me?” 

“It’s this stupid planet! There’s pollution everywhere! It invades my pak and messes it all up! Every time I got caught in that… _Filthy_ storm of rain!” Zim ranted, his fists clenching and shaking as he did, “Burned my shell, burned my pak…” 

“Why didn’t you tell me rain was damaging your pak?” Dib asked, in his mind he was thinking he would have offered Zim an umbrella. Hell, he would have bought him one! 

Then Zim looked at him with an angry look, and Dib realized Zim wasn’t thinking of Dib as he was now…

“You would have taken advantage of that…” Zim grumbled.

“So ten year old me would have, we haven’t fought in years.” Dib insisted, “In hi-skool, before you dropped out, you could have told me.”

“You’re the reason I ate your filthy human food! It poisoned me! Damaged my Squeedily Spooch!” Zim continued throwing accusations. 

“I didn’t make you eat human food!” Dib shouted back, growing frustrated. 

“Yes you did! You would have told everyone I wasn’t human if I didn’t eat your dirty food!” Zim stood up on his couch, thinking height would intimidate his enemy. 

Dib stood up as well, towering over Zim. 

“If the food was hurting you, you should have stopped eating it!” Dib argued, “You could have just given up, why didn’t you realize that no one ever listened to me! They were never going to believe me no matter what accusations I made! So why did you _purposely_ harm yourself?”

“It was always because of you!” Zim deployed his pak legs to gain the height advantage back, “I did it all because of you!” 

Zim seemed to get dizzy from the motion of standing up on his pak legs and began to tip towards right, his right pak leg faltered and both retreated back to the inside of the pak, leaving Zim momentarily airborne. 

Dib was quick on his feet and caught Zim before he fell, he set him back on the couch, Gir clapped as if their fight was just one big show. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” Dib apologized in a gentle voice, Zim always responded better to calmness over yelling. 

“I did give up.” Zim muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, “I couldn’t handle the rain, the filthy water, the filthy food, the filthy skool…It became too much…”

Zim could no longer attend skool, that’s why he had slowed down so significantly. Living on Earth had worn him down…The sudden rain showers that the weather channel couldn’t predict, the school lunches, the copious amounts of trash and smog that humans kept producing…

Earth wasn’t a planet fit for an Irken. 

Zim had done so well at keeping his composure, taking his mission seriously. For years he exposed himself to danger and purposely inflicted harm upon himself in order to appear more human, but the planet had worn him down. 

Dib wanted to kick himself for not noticing that his old foe was slowing down. Here he thought Zim had just found better things to do outside of pretending to be human, that he spent all that time in his base cooking up some new diabolical plan as he usually did. 

“Can you fix it?” Dib asked. 

“I’ve tried, but I don’t have the proper materials. I kept trying to call the tallest, to ask them for assistance, to send me a medical drone, anything. But they have not replied in years.” Zim admitted, “I can no longer track the massive.” 

The last time Dib saw the Massive…It was flying straight into the Florpus hole that Earth narrowly escaped. Oh god, Zim had been trying to call his leaders who had long since died. 

“Have you tried going to your home planet yourself?” Dib suggested. 

“I’ve tried, but, what’s it called in human terms…My motor skills, they are not as good as they usually are.” Zim explained, he opened and closed his hand into a fist, Dib could see how Zim’s hands shook and twitched, that would definitely make driving the voot difficult. 

Zim was trapped on a planet that was doing him some serious harm. Zim would absolutely die if Dib didn’t do anything…

That one voice at the back of Dib’s head that had lain dormant for years started to speak up once more. 

_“You could just let him die and you’ll be free to perform that autopsy.”_

_“You’ll win, you’ll have glory.”_

That was the Dib of the past trying to push him to achieve his old goals, now circumstances were different. 

His mind drifted back to when he would push Zim into puddles, push him around and accuse him of stuff in front of class. To think that in his childish mind, he thought those actions would help him save the world. 

Maybe Zim was aware of this, or maybe he wasn’t due to his stubbornness or sheer determination, but Zim’s mission could not continue. The tallest weren’t replying, his body was failing him, he had to resort to getting help from his old enemy. 

Dib wasn’t sure if Zim would accept help, so he had to angle it in a way where Zim could not refuse. 

“I have my own lab now. You should come with me and I’ll see if I can help clean you up.” Dib offered, he saw the skeptical look in Zim’s eyes and continued with his proposal, “I won’t harm you. Just think of it as repayment for saving the Earth that one time, when Tak tried to destroy it. I owe my life and my family’s life to you deciding to stop her.” 

Zim, being the little egotistical bug that he is, puffed out his chest and put his hands on his hips, “I’ve saved this disgusting planet more than just once. I will take your offer, but if you try anything, I will destroy you.” 

“You could bring Minimoose if it’ll make you feel more safe. Not Gir though, he might destroy something.” Dib added. 

“Understandable. Minimoose is not currently here, so I will just have to trust that you will not be foolish enough to sneak up on me.” Zim said. 

Dib looked around the living room, the purple floating moose wasn’t there at all. He wanted to ask where Minimoose was and what it was doing, but he didn’t have much time to question anything Zim’s robots did. 

“Oh believe me, I’m not that foolish.” Dib insisted, picking up his briefcase from where he had previously set it down.

He opened the car door for Zim, threw his briefcase into the backseat, and situated himself in the front seat. 

“Zim, you’re gonna have to wear a seatbelt while you’re in my car.” Dib said, Zim didn’t move a muscle and stared at him as if he was speaking some foreign language. 

Dib sighed and buckled Zim in for him. Zim was irritated how the top of the belt got in his face and forced it behind the car seat. 

“It’s for safety, dumbass. Maybe If Irken ships had it, you wouldn’t fall through the windscreen.” Dib told him. 

Zim didn’t have the energy for banter and simply huffed and looked out the window. 

The rest of the drive was silent. 

If someone had told Dib he would have a civil and quiet car ride with his worst enemy when he was a kid, he probably wouldn’t have believed it, but like all things on Earth, things change. Even space monsters like Zim were beginning to change. 

Once they arrived to Dib’s lab, Zim started to freeze up. It took courage to walk headfirst into someplace that he feared, but Zim was a soldier, and Zim walked into danger just as he always had. Zim unwillingness to give up is what caused him so much damage in the first place, even when he did ‘give up’, Zim would rather waste away as if that were a proper way to pay for not giving absolutely everything his all. 

How exhausting…

Dib leaned down to pick Zim up and Zim visibly flinched and backed away. 

“I’m just picking you up to put you on the table. It’s best if you don’t use your pak legs for a bit.” Dib defended his actions, and Zim complied. 

“You can lay on your stomach- Er, your spooch. I’ll only be looking at your pak, unless you want me to do a more in-depth observation. You said your spooch was damaged, right?” Dib spoke. 

Zim’s antennae raised, “You’re asking me if I want to be dissecting or not?” 

“No, I’m not doing to dissect you. I can observe you in a way that’s not invasive.” Dib assured him, “Like an MRI, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“Well I don’t want to.” Zim said. 

“I can tell.” Dib simply just laughed, their banter was becoming charming, “Just lay down and relax.” 

Zim laid down but kept his head angled towards Dib, watching his every movement as he gathered up his tools. 

“I have a question for you, if I try to remove the damages on your pak, will it hurt you?” Dib asked, holding up a tool of his dad’s invention. It was a lot like what a dentist would use to remove plaque, but this tool had a clear blue energy source that emitted from the tip and could be used to chisel away at all damage. 

“No…Usually not.” Zim answered. 

“Good, because I don’t think I can give you any anesthetics. It could give you an allergic reaction, or put you to sleep for a really long time, or wear off to quick, or kill you.” Dib rambled on, “Honestly Zim, maybe you should have let me experiment on you before. I would have been more prepared for this.” 

“Don’t be stupid, most Irken surgeries are performed while the patient is still conscious.” Zim said, “Only surgeries involving heavy pak damage need the assistance of drugs.” 

“Can I ask why?” Dib was curious, he had always hoped to learn more about Irkens, and Zim had only told him so much. 

“Depending on how bad the damage is, the Irken in question may not be able to control their pak. Drugs specific to Irken surgery allow the pak to be open and less defensive. Since I am allowing you access to my pak, I do not need to be drugged.” Zim said as Dib began to work on the outer shell of Zim’s pak. 

Clad with gloves and goggles, Dib was shielding from the sparks that flew off of Zim’s pak. He chiseled away at the damage, brushing away the remains. Thankfully, Zim was unbothered by what Dib was doing. He was calm, as calm as Zim could possibly be, laying with his chin resting on his arms. Dib thought it was best to keep him engaged in conversation. 

“So you’re saying you’ll open it up for me so I can fix the inside damage?” Dib asked, “You aren’t afraid I’ll do something?”

“You know nothing of the inner workings of my pak. You wouldn’t know the correct devices to shut down, and if you try to do something, my pak could easily attack you.” Zim said with a smug smirk upon his face. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve definitely learned my lesson when it comes to your pak.” Dib agreed, remembering the instance where he had momentarily stolen Zim’s pak. The pak latched onto Dib and injected all of Zim’s craziness into him. It was one of the worst experiences he ever had, and yet somehow, it wasn’t enough to make him stop pursuing Zim. 

“You stopped trying to expose me in front of people, why?” Zim asked.

“You stopped making plans to destroy the Earth.” Dib gave him what he thought to be a simple answer, but Zim continued. 

“Because you stopped trying to expose me.” Zim said in an accusing tone, “My best plans always came when your idiotic self gave me an idea.” 

“How can I be idiotic if I gave you your best plans, hm?” Dib added in playfully. 

Zim scoffed, “Shut up.” 

Dib continued his work. Everything seemed to be going smoothly and he was ready to start on the inside of Zim’s pak, until he saw something strange. 

He noticed that the spots he believed he had cleaned up left behind sizable dents in Zim’s pak. 

Dib swallowed hard and removed the tool from the damage he had been working on. It was still visible despite how much work he had put into it, he was almost too afraid to continue…But he did. 

He dug in deeper, the damage was still visible, just a little deeper…Why wasn’t it ending? How deeply rooted was this infection. 

He continued further, until-

Zim let out a shrill scream and jumped upwards, pak legs deployed. He spasmed and fell onto the ground, landing right on his pak. Dib heard the distinctive sound of glass cracking. Zim scrambled to find his balance but he continued to topple over every time he tried to stand. 

Before Dib could even try to help him, Zim had scattered across the floor and hid himself in one of the corners of his lab. 

“Are you okay?!” Dib asked, dropping his tool and pulling his goggles off. He joined Zim by the corner but was unable to see the pak from how Zim hid it, “Zim, you have to let me see.”

“WHAT DID YOU DO?!” Zim cried accusingly. He was clearly hurt, by the action of Dib accidentally causing harm and the thought that Dib did it on purpose. 

“I don’t know, that’s what I’m trying to find out! Let me see your pak so I can fix it!” Dib kneeled on the floor next to Zim and extended his hand. 

“You did it on purpose…” Zim’s voice cracked, he sounded as if he were about to cry but he didn’t let his eyes shed a single tear. He was trying not to appear vulnerable in front of the enemy, but he was wearing himself out. 

“I didn’t, it was an accident and I’m sorry. I was trying to help.” Dib explained, “I don’t want you to get hurt any further so let me see.” 

“LIAR!” Zim shouted and kicked at him. 

“Dammit!” Dib yelled back and grabbed Zim’s leg, pulling him out as Zim continued to scream. 

Once again he had to hold Zim down just to get a proper look at his pak. 

The hole Dib left behind the pak was a lot bigger than he thought it would be. He had removed all of the damage, but the hole left behind was sizable enough to leave the inner workings of Zim’s pak openly exposed. 

Shit. 

He released Zim and watched as Zim flopped onto the floor and writhed. 

“Zim, I’m so sorry.” Dib apologized, “I…Don’t know how to fix you.” 

The alien slowly came to a sitting up position, he looked downcast, not even making eye contact. 

“Zim can’t be fixed.” Zim told him, “I was stupid to believe a human could help me.” 

“Don’t say that.” 

“It’s TRUE! Zim is dying! The damage is done.” 

That was the first time Zim out loud what Dib had been fearing. 

“I…I can try to create some kind of plaster, to close up the holes.” Dib tried desperately to find an alternative. 

“My pak will only reject it.” Zim said with a scary amount of apathy in his voice, “The pak is a special piece of technology, the only thing that could replace a pak part would have to be something made of the same material.” 

“Then I’ll replicate the material, let me take a sample.” 

“There’s no material like the pak on Earth.” 

“Let me take a sample, I can recreate it.” 

“Dib-“ 

“Let me try! Just let me try, I can do it!”

“Dib-“

“LET ME HELP YOU!”

Dib’s shouts transformed into sobs. What he thought were words coming out of his mouth were nothing but sorrowful crying. Zim stared at him silently, not crying a single tear for himself. What was wrong with him? Did he not even care, or was this something he had already come to terms with without Dib? How dare he decide he’s going to die without Dib knowing…

“Why are you upset?” Zim asked him, as if it wasn’t obvious. 

“I’ve known you for a big portion of my life. You’re _my_ rival. If you’re gone…” Dib stopped himself from continuing, “Why is it that we never tried to be friends? We could’ve been friends, I’ve battled with it for years, but you and I have a lot in common…I should’ve…I should’ve checked up on you more after you dropped out of school.” 

Dib lowered his head, he touched his forehead to the cold lab flooring and just let his tears fall.

What Dib wondered for years was finally proven true…he would be sad if Zim died, completely devastated. 

“You were a formidable foe, Dib. The only person clever enough to match my wits. Out of all the awful things on this planet, you were the least awful.” Zim said to him, “Do not kneel before a defeated enemy.” 

Dib sat up, “Give me time Zim, let me still try. I’ll keep my research to myself, I won’t bother you with it unless I’ve found a solution. If these are really your last days, can we spent them being friends with each other?” 

Zim looked beyond tired. 

It wasn’t right for Dib to insist that he continue living, especially if it was just for Dib’s own sake. But Dib couldn’t give up while Zim was still alive and breathing. He had to work to the very end, or else he’d never live with himself afterward. 

“Alright, you want a piece of the pak to try and replicate, you can clip some.” Zim gave permission, “But do not despair if it doesn’t work, human technology just isn’t good enough.” 

Dib whipped the tears and snot off of his face, “Okay. Great.”  
Dib stood up again to grab his tools once more. 

Zim interrupted his actions by speaking up, “Now that we are ‘friends’, I have a request for you.” 

“Sure, what is it?” Dib went the extra step of helping Zim stand up. 

“I require your human sugary licky-sticks.” 

…What the fuck was he going on about? 

* * *

Time went on and Dib discovered that the only human ‘food’ Zim genuinely liked was candy. It was, in fact, literally the only thing Zim could eat and not get sick from. 

Of course, anything with a high concentration of sugar was perfectly edible to Zim. 

It took Dib this many years to learn that the Irken diet consisted entirely of sugars. He felt stupid that it took him so long to figure it out, Zim was an alien bug with soft fleshy teeth and was unable to eat anything relating to meat, and then some. 

Dib was busy at work on recreating the material paks were made of, but during his free time he was often visiting Zim’s place. Zim wouldn’t let him inside unless he brought a surplus of snacks for him and all of his robots. 

Dib didn’t see the point in feeding the robots since they didn’t need to eat, but Gir and Minimoose often acted as Zim’s ‘kids’ in a strange way. Dib never took Zim to be very parental, but then again, how could anyone deal with Gir unless they genuinely loved the destructive little thing. 

Zim was deteriorating day by day at a rapid pace. 

Dib often wondered if he was so compelled to see Zim again because some force beyond his comprehension was trying to reunite them before Zim met his untimely end. But Dib tried to shake those thoughts out of his head. 

Dib never gave up and he wouldn’t let Zim give up either

Dib was allowed full access to the base so he no longer had to knock. It seemed that being in charge of bringing snacks made him significantly more trusted. Instead of coming to spy on Zim, he now spent his time just hanging out with alien, talking about mundane topics and just trying to keep Zim’s spirits up higher. 

When he arrived with a family-sized box of fun-dip he was greeted by an excited Gir and Minimoose who was acting like, well, just Minimoose. 

Zim was curled up on the couch, the same spot that he normally stayed in. Movement had become to difficult for him over time so he rarely ventured inside of his lab much. 

His eyes were closed and his antennae didn’t react to the door opening nor Gir’s squealing…This was, unfortunately, the new usual. 

Zim claimed that he wasn’t sleeping, the he was just ‘resting his eyes’, the typical excuse. It was because he didn’t want Dib to know that he had become chronically tired and needed more rest. 

Dib knew sleep wasn’t a normal thing for Irkens. It was something that Irkens only did when they were sick, injured, or dying…Dib chose to believe that it was because Zim was sick. 

Dib sat down on the couch beside him and poked at Zim’s shoulder until his roused. Zim looked at him with bleary eyes, but his antennae perked up when he saw was Dib was holding. 

“Your favorite.” Dib opened the box and handed Zim a fun-dip pouch. 

Zim slowly sat up and accepted the treat. Gir started reaching to share with Zim until Dib handed him one. Gir happily took the candy for himself and sat on the floor to continue coloring. 

“It’s kind of funny that your evil robot henchmen acts so much like a kid.” Dib commented. 

“Gir’s special.” Zim replied with very few words, that was also the new usual, “Tallest made him just for me.”

After a few moments of silence, Zim made a pained noise and his body began to tense up. He dropped his candy and writhed for a few moments before his body released it’s tension. 

For the past few weeks, Zim had been experiencing what looked to Dib like small seizures. Zim was always quick to gain his composure back and treat it like no big deal, but something was wrong. The mechanical whirring of Zim’s pak sped up after his momentary episode. 

“You good?” Dib asked. 

“My pak short-circuits often, it’s annoying.” Zim said with a huff, “If an Irken is not slain in battle then the average life span is up to 800 years, and I am expiring on this awful dirt planet at 171…”

“Well, if you were a human, you’d have lived a pretty damn long life.” Dib said as a sort of encouragement, surprisingly it did seem to cheer Zim up a bit, “And besides, I’m not letting you give up just yet. I’m making some huge progress on the replica of the pak material. There’s a chance I can have in done by this week.”

Zim gave him a smile, returning his fun-dip stick to his mouth, “You’re the only human that could do it.” 

Dib smiled as well, but then that smile began to fade. Zim’s words were good, but they didn’t carry any lust for life like he hoped. 

“You’re gonna be okay, Zim.” Dib said with a serious expression. Zim did not seem very phased. He was just tired all the time,.

Dib reached into his bag and pulled out a few dvds that he had brought from home. He held them up for Zim to see. 

“You want to watch a movie tonight? It’s your pick.” Dib said, “But I’ll need to bring them back home since these belong to Gaz.”

“Who’s Gaz?” Zim asked. 

Dib faltered for a moment, he wasn’t expecting Zim’s confusion to be the response. 

Zim had issues with his memory lately, often forgetting small stuff like things he had said or done. It was usually short-term, but recently it started dipping into the long term. 

Dib didn’t think anything of it when Zim forgot who Mrs. Bitters was, she had been their teacher a long time ago. But Gaz? 

Whatever, Zim hadn’t seen Gaz in a long time either…And Zim never forgot any of his memories that involved Dib. This was just a slip up that came from time passing by…

“She’s my sister.” Dib gave him a concise answer, “Anyways, your pick.” 

Zim squinted at the dvds as if they were hard to see, “Let Gir pick.” 

Gir jumped up and eagerly took the dvds out of Dib’s hands, throwing the ones he found uninteresting and then throwing the movie he wanted at Dib’s face. Luckily, Dib caught it before it could cause any damage to his glasses. 

“Oh, this is a good one, I think you’ll like it.” Dib said, “It’s about an alien invader, just like you.” 

“That does sound promising.” Zim agreed. 

Dib put in the movie ‘Lilo and Stitch’ and sat beside Zim. Gir snuggled up by Dib’s right side and Zim slowly leaned on his left. Minimoose chose to sit by the arm of the couch. 

Just as Dib had hoped, Zim was genuinely enjoying the movie. Quietly chuckling at the 2d animated aliens and how erratic and crazy Stitch acted. He was even tickled by dib pointing out which scenes reminded him of Zim. 

By the lower point of the movie, around the climax, as the little blue alien discovered what family was…Dib whispered to Zim, “You know, friendship isn’t so bad.”

Zim hummed a small reply before saying, “I agree. This planet may be dirty…But the entertainment is nice…And this Can-dee you bring.”

A moment of silence happened between them, and then Zim spoke again. 

“When I die, you have permission to perform an autopsy. The only thing I ask of you is that you take care of Gir and Minimoose.” 

Dib froze, “W-What are you talking about? I’m not going to-“

“Promise me you will take care of Gir and Minimoose.” Zim became more firm and unyielding. 

He needed this answer out of Dib. 

“Of course, I would do it even if you didn’t ask me.” Dib said. 

What he wanted to say was _“You aren’t going to die, I’m not going to let you.”_

Zim seemed at peace now, pleased with Dib’s answer, and was now entirely resting against Dib’s side, which used to be completely out of character for him. Maybe now that he didn’t have the energy to put up a fight, Zim discovered that he didn’t mind being touched, maybe he was touch-starved all this time. 

“Good.” Zim said, happy and content.

“You’re good, Dib-human.”The two of them finished the movie in a comfortable silence. 

* * *

Zim passed away that night. 

Dib hadn’t noticed until after the credits had finished rolling. 

He thought Zim had just fallen asleep as he frequently did as of late, but then he didn’t rouse when Dib tried to leave and take the movie out. Dib stayed put and placed a hand to Zim’s chest, not knowing where to take a pulse. He felt that Zim’s no longer breathed, there was no rise and fall of his chest. 

He was just gone. 

Dib cried, he sobbed for just a few moments. The next moments were silent and numbing. Then he retained his classic Dib composure and thought over everything that had happened up until this dreadful point. 

Zim probably passed far more peacefully than most Irkens got the chance to, but it didn’t feel right. Zim was still young for an Irken, and yet, he was gone because he was stupid enough to put himself in harm’s way for the sake of his dumb mission that may or may not have even been real. 

Zim was gone because Dib couldn’t save him in time. 

That part stung the most. 

Dib couldn’t save him. 

He wanted to be mad about all sorts of things. He was still upset that Zim never told him, upset that Zim continued to harm himself to the point where his pak’s damage was irreversible, but it didn’t go any good…Being mad over stuff that already happened. 

This was Dib’s victory, albeit not the victory he expected to get, but Zim made it clear that Dib had won and how Dib has to carry that responsibility.

Explaining it to the robots was the worst part. 

Gir thought Zim was sleeping, of course Gir did. Minimoose was just as bad, unaware and trying to get a reaction out of Zim by softly nudging his head. Dib had to cover Zim’s body with his jacket just to draw attention away from it so he could explain to the robots that he was their new master. 

Gir was excited, staying over at Dib’s house seemed like just a fun sleepover for him. Minimoose was Minimoose. 

Dib brought Zim back to the lab and for a while tried to perform all kinds of illegal science to bring the little alien menace back. But it was hopeless, and it was disrespectful to the departed. 

Zim had given him permission to autopsy him…Dib didn’t want it anymore. 

He buried Zim without ever seeing his alien insides, without opening up and plucking him apart. He had always wanted to see what made Zim tick, before Zim was just some alien invader, some threat that Dib didn’t know personally.  
He couldn’t do that to someone who he watched movies and ate candy with, not someone who treated him like he was talented and worth something.

Zim became the first alien to receive a human funeral. 

It was small, but Gaz came when Dib told her what had happened. She also berated him after Dib had admitted he had tried to resurrect Zim, he definitely deserved that. 

Dib knew that Zim wouldn’t have been buried on Earth but he had no other choice. As one of his future projects, Dib planned to eventually exhume Zim so he could have a burial in the stars, whenever he achieved space travel. 

Life went on as it had before, only it was slightly different. 

He did end up recreating the pak material, two months too late, but he still had it in his possession. Dib’s home was always busy with the presence of alien robots, the memory of Zim still prominent in his mind and his everyday life.

Dib was glad that Zim’s last moments were pleasant, the most peaceful moments he had ever had on this planet. 

Truly he regretted that he had never attempted to be friends with Zim sooner…because it was nice. 

His friendship with Zim was nice while it lasted.


End file.
